I am a college bound deportee

Helplessly stranded out at sea

Wind to my back sun in my eyes

Feeling crushed by the weight of the heavy skies

The currents so strong its senseless to fight it

I just pray to god it doesn’t leave me misguided

I feel infinitely lost and hopeless

And this is what they call accomplished?

Just as the shore’s within an eyeshot

I am feeling entirely overwrought

I hear the sirens irresistible singing

So I abandon my ship and begin swimming

I don’t have a clue what lies ahead

And it’s the unknown that we most dread

I’m Swerving in and out of lanes

While the bass shakes my frame

My paint reveals some rusty decay

And burnt bridges fill my ashtray

Although my gas tank is ever fueled by unleaded ambition 

There is still occasionally a slip in my transmission

My oil hasn’t ever been changed

I guess I’m just stuck in my ways

Leaving all of my issues in my rear views

Traffic jams and accidents are such old news

I just gotta keep it moving and get to point B

God damn this car better not break down on me

Every intersection is a choice

But it’s not about where you go

It’s about when you hit the gas

Go too early and you’ll see your life flash before your eyes

Hesitate and you’ll be sure to wait as others pass you by

Accelerate at the right time and cruise onto the next one

And then make another choice

Tear stained page

I turn it over

Just to create more smudged words

Please don’t move away

Even when skies are gray

When the weather turns cold

And scenery gets old

You can’t afford the cost of living elsewhere

It’ll never be enough and you’ll strive for better

Somewhere that’s warmer somewhere that’s brighter

I too need the occasional vacation and grab for my lighter

I’m a travelling man whose passport is stamped with notoriety

But I will always return to this home I call sobriety 

I feel alone and isolated

Completely unappreciated

Heart’s on my sleeve, I’m just asking for a second thought

Ask and you shall receive? I never asked to feel distraught

I never asked for these haunting and reoccurring visions

That are more obscure than looking through glass prisms

I look to god, I look within

I look to friends, I look to kin

Just to be overlooked myself

My inspirations aren’t aware of my poor mental health

Because they say silence is golden and I strive for wealth

Go fill me up with helium, and tie me to your wrist

This attachment we have gives me reason to exist

I give up free will and just follow your lead

Never let me go, you’re exactly what I need

Without you I’d float away and tragically burst

I can’t imagine a fate that could be any worst

You keep me grounded and protect me from what’s inside

This helium makes me feel alive but it’ll be the reason I die

Because inevitably I will bore you, and just get in the way

And so you’ll then let me go, and just watch me float away

The voices in my head are causing unsound judgement

They all speak to me in riddles that sound so pungent 

And so I close my eyes and hear sweet echoes of silence

Once I think I’m free they scream caterwauls of violence

So in turn I’m sitting here scheming

Watching the smoke funnel streaming

The lights flicker as my demons snicker

They’re feasting on all my insecurities

And feeding me images of barbarities

This food for thought simply can’t be nutritious

If it is, then why do I feel nauseous and vicious 

My innocence is dead the moment we break bread

And I’m just a shell of a man with voices in his head

I’m smoking on the grass from the other side

Where the grass is greener and depression died

Where the sun is shining and the water is clear

Where the trees bear fruit and our eyes bear cheer

Planting seeds of strength where we once buried our fears

Sprouting buds of hope that were once watered with tears

The grass is only as green as you make it out to be

And the simplest way is to burn a tree

You can catch me dreaming in a mausoleum because it makes me feel alive

I keep death in back of my mind because there’s no telling when it’ll arrive 

The thought is enough to take it into you’re own hands

Especially when you can’t keep up with life’s demands

And so you

Swallow your pride in the form of pills

Because you can’t afford to pay your bills

Paint the wall with red regret

Since all you do is worry and fret

Send yourself to heaven above

To join the ones you lost and love

Life’s feels either empty or full of pain

So you drain the blood out of your vein

But simply

Borrow some money take out a loan

Leave a rose and tear on their tombstone

Talk to someone, smoke some weed try to calm down

Life will surely take you under just don’t let yourself drown

I’m Drinking coffee while staring out my window

Watching the snowfall listening to the wind blow

The gradual accumulation doesn’t make for much of a show

I patiently wait for the footprints, slopes, and imperfections

It’s those that make the storm unique and entices my predilection

Until the grass pokes through the surface like a cold green injection

Crying with kaleidoscopic eyes

Excreting diamond shaped teardrops 

They dry but the pain never stops

They left scars down your pale cheek

That resemble vibrant linear streaks

How could your pain be any less discrete

When it’s left you so beautifully scarred and meek

I just want a little intimacy and need a little passion

I just want a little playfulness and need a little action

I just want some more locked doors and need less lights

I just want less tension and need less pointless fights

I just want bites on my neck and need scratches down my back

I just want her to bite her lip and need both of her eyes roll back

I just want a tight warm embrace and need to be face to face

I just want to pound like bass not worrying about time nor place

And she just wanted wrap her mind and legs all around me

In doing so she tired herself out so she needed to take a knee

The once was a girl who lived in an open field. Running to and forth and yelling uninhibitedly. People often passed through this field, each one layering a single brick as they left. At first she barely took notice but eventually the bricks formed an immense wall. She pushed and shoved but it wouldn’t even budge. She heard people on the other side laughing and conversing but their voices were muffled. She tried again and again to scale but but once she reached the top imps and demons dragged her down. The fall broke her back and left her spineless. And so she laid paralyzed beside the wall her deserters built her with only her demons for company. She’s never felt so at home.